I can't think clearly. Work is stressing me out. Family is stressing me out. I look at the world but I don't really see it. Days go by and I can't remember what I did when and who I saw and where I went and which day it all happened on. I seek out peace in nature but my thoughts are such a jumble I can't feel anything on the wind or in the ocean. I try to pray but feel like no one is listening. I ponder my future and the uncertainty of it all tightens my chest and makes my head throb and I have to shut down for a while and catch my breath.
There is so much I want to do and I am desperately afraid I don't have enough time in which to do it. I am ashamed of all the time I've already wasted and terrified that the stress and worry of every day life is taking even more away.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Celtic KFC Tattoo
I love it. See here for more about the "Celtic Colonel Sanders". WARNING: Body modification site. Probably not for the more squeamish among you.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Bio Regional Quiz
From here: http://www.toteg.org/TribeData/WhereYouAt.html
UPDATE: Yvonne from Nemeton pointed out in the comments that Chas Clifton has a great piece on bioregional wisdom and the issues raised by honoring or not honoring the cultures of other bioregions. The piece includes this quiz and addresses some of the issues raised by the questions and our ability (or lack thereof) to answer. Thank you, Yvonne.
Exactly what I needed. Moving to Miami from up north is a huge adjustment and I am just starting to learn about the local environment and ecology. I will be answering these questions over time.
Where You At? A Bioregional Quiz
Developed by Leonard Charles, Jim Dodge, Lynn Milliman, and Victoria Stockley.
1. Trace the water you drink from precipitation to tap.
2. How many days til the moon is full? (Slack of 2 days allowed.)
3. What soil series are you standing on ?
4. What was the total rainfall in your area last year (July-June)? (Slack: 1 inch for every 20 inches.)
5. When was the last time a fire burned in your area?
6. What were the primary subsistence techniques of the culture that lived in your area before you?
7. Name five (5) edible plants in your region and their season(s) of availability.
8. From what direction do winter storms generally come in your region?
9. Where does your garbage go?
10. How long is the growing season where you live?
11. On what day of the year are the shadows the shortest where you live?
12. When do the deer rut in your region, and when are the young born?
13. Name five (5) grasses in your area. Are any of them native?
14. Name five resident and five migratory birds in your area.
15. What is the land use history of where you live?
16. What primary ecological event/process influenced the land form where you live? (Bonus
special: what's the evidence?)
17. What species have become extinct in your area?
18. What are the major plant associations in your region?
19. From where you're reading this, point north.
20. What spring wildflower is consistently among the first to bloom where you live?
UPDATE: Yvonne from Nemeton pointed out in the comments that Chas Clifton has a great piece on bioregional wisdom and the issues raised by honoring or not honoring the cultures of other bioregions. The piece includes this quiz and addresses some of the issues raised by the questions and our ability (or lack thereof) to answer. Thank you, Yvonne.
Exactly what I needed. Moving to Miami from up north is a huge adjustment and I am just starting to learn about the local environment and ecology. I will be answering these questions over time.
Where You At? A Bioregional Quiz
Developed by Leonard Charles, Jim Dodge, Lynn Milliman, and Victoria Stockley.
1. Trace the water you drink from precipitation to tap.
2. How many days til the moon is full? (Slack of 2 days allowed.)
3. What soil series are you standing on ?
4. What was the total rainfall in your area last year (July-June)? (Slack: 1 inch for every 20 inches.)
5. When was the last time a fire burned in your area?
6. What were the primary subsistence techniques of the culture that lived in your area before you?
7. Name five (5) edible plants in your region and their season(s) of availability.
8. From what direction do winter storms generally come in your region?
9. Where does your garbage go?
10. How long is the growing season where you live?
11. On what day of the year are the shadows the shortest where you live?
12. When do the deer rut in your region, and when are the young born?
13. Name five (5) grasses in your area. Are any of them native?
14. Name five resident and five migratory birds in your area.
15. What is the land use history of where you live?
16. What primary ecological event/process influenced the land form where you live? (Bonus
special: what's the evidence?)
17. What species have become extinct in your area?
18. What are the major plant associations in your region?
19. From where you're reading this, point north.
20. What spring wildflower is consistently among the first to bloom where you live?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Playing With Fire
I'm a pretty elemental person. Ever since I discovered the classic four-element system I've thought it made perfect sense. I "get" the elements on an instinctive level. Always have. I know how each "feels" and how much of each I contain within myself. I am all earth and water, less air and very little fire in general. Kind of funny considering I'm a fire sign. I DO have some fire in me. I have a temper but in all honesty if I get really angry I'm a lot more likely to cry from the frustration than throw a tantrum. All that water has to come out somewhere.
I lack passion. I lack that internal store of energy that's necessary to take an idea and manifest it out into the world. While I've known this and felt this and seen it manifest itself in various ways throughout my life, I've never done anything about it. Know why? No fire.
So, I've decided to reach down deep to the sputtering embers I hope are still there and spend a week doing a little elemental work with fire - see if I can stoke this baby up into something respectable. See if I can flic my Bic, so to speak.
I intend to meditate upon a flame each night and spend at least part of each day outside honoring the Sun. Try to incorporate fire into everything I do. Make some things happen instead of just thinking and feeling about them. Set fire to everything and see what stays lit.
I lack passion. I lack that internal store of energy that's necessary to take an idea and manifest it out into the world. While I've known this and felt this and seen it manifest itself in various ways throughout my life, I've never done anything about it. Know why? No fire.
So, I've decided to reach down deep to the sputtering embers I hope are still there and spend a week doing a little elemental work with fire - see if I can stoke this baby up into something respectable. See if I can flic my Bic, so to speak.
I intend to meditate upon a flame each night and spend at least part of each day outside honoring the Sun. Try to incorporate fire into everything I do. Make some things happen instead of just thinking and feeling about them. Set fire to everything and see what stays lit.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Notes From The Geek Show: The Protocols of the Elders of Sodom
Notes From The Geek Show: The Protocols of the Elders of Sodom
An absolutely brilliant rebuttal to those who would use irrational discrimination to marginalize and oppress our queer brothers and sisters. Long, but a must read!
An absolutely brilliant rebuttal to those who would use irrational discrimination to marginalize and oppress our queer brothers and sisters. Long, but a must read!
Anna Nicole
So, Anna Nicole Smith. I wasn't intending to write about her death but the level of vitriol aimed at her since her passing, particularly on the interwebs, compelled me to post.
I've heard it said that Anna Nicole, whose real name was Vickie Hogan, was no more than a whore. And perhaps that is true. We paid her in time and attention and in return she gave us beautiful pictures and a sad, unintentionally hilarious life. But we are some pretty demanding whores ourselves. In return for fame we asked for her soul. One whore asked only for attention; the other demanded blood...and got it. I know which whore I'd rather be.
I have always bristled at the accusations that she was a gold-digger and therefore a worthy object of derision. What bothers me most is that an equal amount of scorn is not heaped upon her late husband.
Did she marry him for money? For security? We cannot know for sure, but I would suspect that it played a rather large role in her decision to become his wife. But what of him? I refuse to believe that such a wealthy, successful man was a complete idiot. Why did he feel it necessary to marry so late in life to a woman known only for her looks? Could it be because he desired to live out one last fantasy of having a trophy on his arm? Could it be that he realized that such fantasies come at a price and was willing to pay it? Why are her motives so frequently called into question and not his?
So what if she married him for his money? So what if he married her because he wanted to spend his final years face-deep in the bosom of a Playmate? Who did they hurt?
Anna Nicole Smith was beautiful, sexy and voluptuous. But in America, we demand that our celebrities be intelligent and eloquent as well as beautiful and when they are not we make sure to remind them - daily - that they are Only Getting By On Their Looks. We court the beautiful and place them on pedestals and on the covers of magazines and elevate them to a near God-like position but our collective guilt and shame over such shallowness invariably manifests itself as mockery when those demigods fail to live up to our impossible standards. They must be intellectually accomplished as well as physically attractive in order to make us feel better about beating off to their photos. I love her for her MIND, man!
But Anna Nicole Smith exposed our voracious appetite for empty beauty and we punished her for it. She failed to live up to her end of the bargain: we would make her famous for her beauty but only if she proved herself smart enough to make us feel better about being such shallow tools.
But she refused. Whether because she was unwilling or, more likely, unable she forced us to admit that the only reason she was famous was because she had a killer body and a beautiful face. All she wanted was a way out of a dead-end life in rural Texas and when her looks weren't enough anymore she relied on our relentless appetite for tabloid sensationalism and smug superiority to keep her in the press. And, Gods bless her, it worked. For a time.
And we had to admit that we read Playboy for the pictures after all.
I've heard it said that Anna Nicole, whose real name was Vickie Hogan, was no more than a whore. And perhaps that is true. We paid her in time and attention and in return she gave us beautiful pictures and a sad, unintentionally hilarious life. But we are some pretty demanding whores ourselves. In return for fame we asked for her soul. One whore asked only for attention; the other demanded blood...and got it. I know which whore I'd rather be.
I have always bristled at the accusations that she was a gold-digger and therefore a worthy object of derision. What bothers me most is that an equal amount of scorn is not heaped upon her late husband.
Did she marry him for money? For security? We cannot know for sure, but I would suspect that it played a rather large role in her decision to become his wife. But what of him? I refuse to believe that such a wealthy, successful man was a complete idiot. Why did he feel it necessary to marry so late in life to a woman known only for her looks? Could it be because he desired to live out one last fantasy of having a trophy on his arm? Could it be that he realized that such fantasies come at a price and was willing to pay it? Why are her motives so frequently called into question and not his?
So what if she married him for his money? So what if he married her because he wanted to spend his final years face-deep in the bosom of a Playmate? Who did they hurt?
Anna Nicole Smith was beautiful, sexy and voluptuous. But in America, we demand that our celebrities be intelligent and eloquent as well as beautiful and when they are not we make sure to remind them - daily - that they are Only Getting By On Their Looks. We court the beautiful and place them on pedestals and on the covers of magazines and elevate them to a near God-like position but our collective guilt and shame over such shallowness invariably manifests itself as mockery when those demigods fail to live up to our impossible standards. They must be intellectually accomplished as well as physically attractive in order to make us feel better about beating off to their photos. I love her for her MIND, man!
But Anna Nicole Smith exposed our voracious appetite for empty beauty and we punished her for it. She failed to live up to her end of the bargain: we would make her famous for her beauty but only if she proved herself smart enough to make us feel better about being such shallow tools.
But she refused. Whether because she was unwilling or, more likely, unable she forced us to admit that the only reason she was famous was because she had a killer body and a beautiful face. All she wanted was a way out of a dead-end life in rural Texas and when her looks weren't enough anymore she relied on our relentless appetite for tabloid sensationalism and smug superiority to keep her in the press. And, Gods bless her, it worked. For a time.
And we had to admit that we read Playboy for the pictures after all.
Winners gallery 2007 - World Press Photo
Winners gallery 2007 - World Press Photo
Once again, an absolutely breathtaking crop of winners in this year's World Press Photo contest.
Once again, an absolutely breathtaking crop of winners in this year's World Press Photo contest.
An Interrogator's Lament | MetaFilter
A poem quoted on a recent Metafilter thread:
"Every Warrior of the Light
has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every Warrior of the Light
has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone.
Every Warrior of the Light
has trodden a path that was not his.
Every Warrior of the Light
has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.
Every Warrior of the Light
has, at least once, believed he was not a Warrior of the Light.
Every Warrior of the Light
has failed in his spiritual duties.
Every Warrior of the Light
has said 'yes' when he wanted to say 'no.'
Every Warrior of the Light
has hurt someone he loved.
That is why he is a Warrior of the Light,
Because he has been through all this
and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is.
~ Paulo Coelho"
"Every Warrior of the Light
has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every Warrior of the Light
has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone.
Every Warrior of the Light
has trodden a path that was not his.
Every Warrior of the Light
has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.
Every Warrior of the Light
has, at least once, believed he was not a Warrior of the Light.
Every Warrior of the Light
has failed in his spiritual duties.
Every Warrior of the Light
has said 'yes' when he wanted to say 'no.'
Every Warrior of the Light
has hurt someone he loved.
That is why he is a Warrior of the Light,
Because he has been through all this
and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is.
~ Paulo Coelho"
Who Are You Anyway?
So, I recently began the ADF's Dedicant Program. More precisely, I recently paid my dues to become an ADF member and am waiting for the DP materials to come in the mail. In the meantime I've been reading over the electronic copy of the Manual and seeing what's in store. I have been contemplating working through the DP for quite a few years now hesitating only because the word "Druid" has always set off alarm bells in my head. You know, visions of berobed hippies dancing around oak trees and murmuring about how the Morrigan* is really quite sweet actually once you get to know her. (And, you know, pry the steaming entrails from her teeth and wipe the blood off.)
But I've been letting it roll around in the back of my head while I spent time pursuing other ways of connecting with the Divine like occasionally lighting a candle or spending long, pensive moments trying to determine if that dream I had about the stag in the woods was a message from a deity or a sign that I should maybe cut back on pre-bedtime burrito consumption. The depths of my dedication know no bounds. Why I must have devoted entire MINUTES to developing my third eye! I think I saw an aura once or twice but it was a little foggy that day so who can be sure?
My main problem, aside from abject laziness, is that while I know SOMETHING is out there I don't know who They are. Here's what I have figured out so far:
1. There are at least two of 'em. I think.
2. One is female and one is male, so far as any probably-immortal, immensely powerful, far-seeing Divine creature can be said to have a gender.
3. He thinks I'm a bit of a tool.
4. She likes red.
There you have it. The extent of my personal cosmology. All I know. I have read and read and read about this pantheon and that culture and this religion and that reconstruction, looking for anything that could lead me closer to discovering who They are and...I got nothin'. It could be argued that if I had spent less time reading and more time getting off my ass and actually trying to spiritually connect to Them I might know more by now but that's just crazy talk, I'm sure.
In all seriousness I am devoted to finding out who They are and what They want from me. I think I just need more structure and motivation. The DP program, from what I have read about it, seems like a good way of developing that structure. A religious framework within which I can begin to seek out my Gods on a more active spiritual level instead of just an intellectual one.
I am envious of those who are 100% sure of Who it is that's jerking them around the Universe. I read about people who have known from a very young age that they were being contacted by someone Other. They spend their lives having conversations and receiving visions and seeing signs and then one day they read a book about one mythology or another and have their breakthrough moment. "Hey! The ravens, the wolves, that weird one-eyed old man who accosted me on the street that time! And when my brother pushed me into the well when I was eight and when I came out I could read Old Norse! It was Odin all along!" And then it's just a matter of reading about Him and the culture of His people and putting some things in place and there you go! A deeply meaningful spiritual experience in which they have total faith. I don't mean for that to sound trite or like these folks don't have to work for their faith. I know that they do. I'm just jealous of y'all.
And then there are people like me who didn't have Supreme Beings whispering into their ears as a kid and didn't see any signs of anything much as an adult except maybe they should get more exercise because their ass is getting chubby. But there is something there. And that something is being extremely coy and maybe I'm not ready or maybe the signs are there and I just haven't seen them but whatever. The point is. They are not making it easy. And I am not making enough of an effort. Which is probably WHY They aren't making it easy.
So, how will the DP help? I am hoping it will help me to develop a personal spiritual plan of attack. The push I need to stop reading and start doing.
Why can't there be a Goddess of Lazy Bums? I think she and I would get on really well together.
*The drawing of the Morrigan is from the online portfolio of J. "Kythera" Contreras. Check her out! She is incredibly talented. I love her comic-style artworks and her painted miniatures.
But I've been letting it roll around in the back of my head while I spent time pursuing other ways of connecting with the Divine like occasionally lighting a candle or spending long, pensive moments trying to determine if that dream I had about the stag in the woods was a message from a deity or a sign that I should maybe cut back on pre-bedtime burrito consumption. The depths of my dedication know no bounds. Why I must have devoted entire MINUTES to developing my third eye! I think I saw an aura once or twice but it was a little foggy that day so who can be sure?
My main problem, aside from abject laziness, is that while I know SOMETHING is out there I don't know who They are. Here's what I have figured out so far:
1. There are at least two of 'em. I think.
2. One is female and one is male, so far as any probably-immortal, immensely powerful, far-seeing Divine creature can be said to have a gender.
3. He thinks I'm a bit of a tool.
4. She likes red.
There you have it. The extent of my personal cosmology. All I know. I have read and read and read about this pantheon and that culture and this religion and that reconstruction, looking for anything that could lead me closer to discovering who They are and...I got nothin'. It could be argued that if I had spent less time reading and more time getting off my ass and actually trying to spiritually connect to Them I might know more by now but that's just crazy talk, I'm sure.
In all seriousness I am devoted to finding out who They are and what They want from me. I think I just need more structure and motivation. The DP program, from what I have read about it, seems like a good way of developing that structure. A religious framework within which I can begin to seek out my Gods on a more active spiritual level instead of just an intellectual one.
I am envious of those who are 100% sure of Who it is that's jerking them around the Universe. I read about people who have known from a very young age that they were being contacted by someone Other. They spend their lives having conversations and receiving visions and seeing signs and then one day they read a book about one mythology or another and have their breakthrough moment. "Hey! The ravens, the wolves, that weird one-eyed old man who accosted me on the street that time! And when my brother pushed me into the well when I was eight and when I came out I could read Old Norse! It was Odin all along!" And then it's just a matter of reading about Him and the culture of His people and putting some things in place and there you go! A deeply meaningful spiritual experience in which they have total faith. I don't mean for that to sound trite or like these folks don't have to work for their faith. I know that they do. I'm just jealous of y'all.
And then there are people like me who didn't have Supreme Beings whispering into their ears as a kid and didn't see any signs of anything much as an adult except maybe they should get more exercise because their ass is getting chubby. But there is something there. And that something is being extremely coy and maybe I'm not ready or maybe the signs are there and I just haven't seen them but whatever. The point is. They are not making it easy. And I am not making enough of an effort. Which is probably WHY They aren't making it easy.
So, how will the DP help? I am hoping it will help me to develop a personal spiritual plan of attack. The push I need to stop reading and start doing.
Why can't there be a Goddess of Lazy Bums? I think she and I would get on really well together.
*The drawing of the Morrigan is from the online portfolio of J. "Kythera" Contreras. Check her out! She is incredibly talented. I love her comic-style artworks and her painted miniatures.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Why Can't I Pronounce That?
Working one's way through a Celtic language-based framework for ritual and worship is a pain in the ass when one can't wrap one's tiny little brain around the correct pronunciation of Celtic languages. I mean, have you SEEN some of those Welsh names? There are, like, forty consonants and one vowel - and Ys in strange places.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)